Grab a cup of coffee, sit back and let me share with you our story!
There is something powerful about each of our stories. ( Yes we all have a story) I have found that when I write, there is a healing that takes place. Words are so powerful and I am thankful that the Lord has given me this opportunity to be vulnerable and allow my story to shed light into the hidden places of our lives, where we sometimes don’t want others to see. Simply because we may be broken; but it is in our brokeness where the beauty resides and the Lord uses our brokenness to mend us and turn ashes into beauty. So journey with me as I begin to unravel the pages of our story.
My husband Tyler is an answered prayer. He is the man I have fervently prayed for from the time I was a little girl. He is my best friend and I love him deeply. We have been married for almost 5 blissful years, we have walked through some valleys and reached some incredible mountain tops and we still remember to dance our way through life. I love the way that he loves the Lord and how he humbly leads are home. Around our 2 year anniversary we began trying to have a baby.
It began with the simple, month after month waiting and hoping that I would see those two faint pink lines…But that day never came. A year had passed and we began to wonder if their was something more wrong. I was always “that little girl” who dreamed of the day she would become a mother of her own. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be the one to sit here today writing my story with you and sharing pieces of my heart from one of the hardest journey’s I have had to walk.
I never questioned my ability to be able to conceive, I had never had any female problems growing up and thought there was nothing to worry about. As mine and my husbands desire and longing to become parents became greater we decided that it was time to make sure everything was ok. For a year we ran some testing, everything came back perfectly normal on both sides, so we continued to try to conceive naturally, another year came and went with no success.
At this point the journey began to become emotionally heavy and questions as to why and how come were arising. We were uncertain of what to do next, but trusted and knew that the Lord would direct our steps. As a woman it is our God-given mantle and blessing to become a mother so with not being able to conceive naturally I felt like a failure, I felt inadequate. Fertility treatment was on the back burner at this point, because quiet frankly I didn’t want to face it. My husband and I did what we know best, we began to fleece the Lord and seek his face. Over the course of the next 6 months we would begin fertility treatment, the first step was to cover the basics and have a few more tests done to make sure everything was ok. Once again all the tests came back perfectly normal, which we thanked God for, but at the same time brought about a sense of uncertainty. At this point we had to relinquish our doubts, confusion, and trust the Lord with our whole hearts and remembering to daily stand upon his promises.
Now here we are today 3 years into trying to have a baby, we still haven’t seen those two pink faint lines and we are still seeking fertility treatment. What I can say is that I sit here today as I write these words and I remind not only myself but you that the Lord’s promises will never fail us. He is and always will be faithful. Along this journey my husband and I have grown immensely, the Lord has been so good even in the midst of brokenness. He is sovereign, he is full of love, and he is a good good father. I pray that as you journey with us you will find encouragement behind brokenness, and be reminded that we were made to do hard and holy things, because we have Jesus and he is always enough. We weren’t made to give up, but we were designed to war our way through this battle to victory.
If you want to read more about our journey you can follow my blog as I will be sharing more from my heart and where the Lord is leading us during this waiting season.