And if Not, He is still Good.. These words have echoed in my heart for sometime now. A week ago we learned that our first round of fertility treatment was unsuccessful. This was very hard to swallow.
Almost a month ago on May 14th, Mothers Day, My husband and I went into the doctor’s office for our first round of fertility treatment (IUI). I don’t think I could adequately describe what my heart-felt that day. My husband and I were overcome with many emotions. We knew we had to go in with an open heart and mind, knowing that this may not turn out how we hoped.
After the day of treatment, we began the “Two week wait.” These two weeks were filled with some of the hardest days we have walked as well as some of the most powerful and intimate moments in the Lords presence.
Have you ever wondered how the journey your walking is good? Have you ever questioned why the Lord has you in a waiting season?
I think so many of us have those moments in our waiting seasons where we have asked the hard questions. The why’s and the how come’s and feeling uncertain as to why God chose us to walk this journey, but in Isaiah 30:18-22 it says “Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice: blessed are all those who wait for him.”
So, yes, waiting is hard. There are still moments of uncertainty. There are moments of brokenness. There are times when you feel disappointed, There are times when you struggle to find hope, but through it all the Lord is gracious and in our weakness he will give us strength.
We have had our own moments of weakness where we have struggled to find joy along this journey. I can’t sit here today and say to you that this is easy, because it isn’t. It is hard, but God has designed us to do those hard and holy things. God has equipped us for such a time as this, and if we allow him he will use this waiting season in our lives to grow us and let us experience brokenness, but in that brokenness there is beauty to be found.
There have been so many intricate details of this 3 year journey that I look back on now and I saw WOW, only God himself could have orchestrated those moments.
There are those that have walked this journey with us and have allowed the Lord to speak through them and there are those that have had no idea what was taking place but have spoken some of the most powerful words to remind us, that YES the Lord is good. He is FAITHFUL. His PROMISES will NEVER fade. He knows the very DESIRES of our heart and his PLAN for our Life is greater than what we can even begin to see and understand.
So at the end of the day I remind myself and you, yes you, the one who is struggling through a waiting season that If Not….. He is still GOOD!